Anyone who has ever tried their hand at the markets knows that you will face losses. There are a few different types of losses and if you haven't experienced all of them yet, give it some time...You will. Some losses are emotionally crippling, while others seem like no big deal. How can we make it so that every, unavoidable stop loss feels like no big deal?
First, and most obvious is position size and risk. There are times where you may be so sure that something is going to happen that you bet big. There could also be a time where you let a losing position go against you and you decide to increase your size to adjust your average cost. When either position ends up losing you feel defeated and mentally damaged. What's important here is to blame yourself! It was your fault for doing this and you should have safeguards in place to never let that happen again. Too often you will still want to blame the markets or the technology for your loss just so you feel better and that never has a winning outcome.
Next is the reactionary stop. Have you ever exited a trade before your stop loss because you thought it was no good anymore and you felt that taking the smaller loss was better cause you were SO sure that it was a loser? What happens next? The trade ends up moving in your favor without you and you suffer the pain of missing a winner because you reacted hastily. Sometimes people do this because they had a larger position than they should have, while other people are emotional about trading in general. If you find that you react outside of your plan too often then reduce your position size to a point where you feel it is insignificant and slowly raise it from there.
Look, were all going to have losing positions but the key is to accept that and be smart about taking losses. Focusing on risk first, then your plan next will help limit the number of stop losses that hurt.